Sternberg's triangle of love: describes any relationships from romantic love to swingers sex

The theory is applicable to the swinging lifestyle (more about that here: Nowadays many relationships consultants join and blend very different approaches. One of the common advice for a couple – to explore various alternative sexual and relationship practices, such as polyamory of any kind, casual sex, swing, BDSM and kinky lifestyle.

They literally recommend installing some niche app such as Tinder, Feeld, KinkD. Or just go to a swingers club or so-called social club. Or to go to leather/fetish/kinky club/dungeon (list of them you can find here:

In the same time consultants teach couples to modern psychological theories: non-violent communication, new physiology of sex, psychology of relationships and non-monogamy and, of course, Sternberg’s theory of love.

The triangular theory of love is a theory of love developed by Robert Sternberg, a member of the Psychology Department at Yale University. During his time as a professor, Sternberg emphasized his research in the fields of intelligence, creativity, wisdom, leadership, thinking styles, ethical reasoning, love, and hate. In the context of interpersonal relationships, “the three components of love, according to the triangular theory, are an intimacy component, a passion component, and a decision/commitment component.”

Sternberg says that intimacy refers to “feelings of closeness, connectedness, and bondedness in loving relationships”, passion refers to “the drives that lead to romance, physical attraction, sexual consummation, and related phenomena in loving relationships” and decision/commitment means different things in the short and long term. In the short-term, it refers to “the decision that one loves a certain other”, and in the long-term, it refers to “one’s commitment to maintaining that love.”

Examples of kinds of relationships by 3 components presence:

  • romantic love – intimacy + passion
  • polyamory love – intimacy + passion + commitment
  • casual sex – passion
  • swingers lifestyle – passion + commitment
  • cuddle party – intimacy